I call it the Valentines’ Day Trap.  Fellas, don’t fall into it.

Society has trapped us into thinking that we will need to a special day to recognize how much we love our significant other.  I call bullsh*t on that one.  It’s a bullsh*t holiday.

Women look forward to Valentines Day every year, looking pitiful and tired as they look forward for the plans they will make with their man to go to dinner and dancing.  They’ll get dressed up and ready to go out as if the government is going to ban salsa dancing on February 15.

Valentines’ Day is a superficial holiday designed to suck the life and money out of a man.  So to counteract this, I have a recommendation for you fellas (and ladies too):

Make every other day more special.

This isn’t a cop out or a soft post designed for the ladies; I don’t do soft.  I’m not taking their side. Remember, I ride for the fellas, and I’m just trying to help you keep a happy home.  A man has to realize that in order to keep a happy relationship, he can’t just wait for the holidays and stock up on chocolates.  A simple “thank you” note for picking up your dry cleaning on the way home or sending flowers to her office for no particular reason will do wonders.

I’m no relationship expert (as I’ve said before, I’ve been divorced), but I know enough that if you have a good woman to appreciate her.  I’ve always given you the real fellas, so you know if it’s coming from these lips, you might want to consider it.

You don’t want to be that guy who waits until it’s too late to find out that he’s had a good thing all along.

Just something to think about fellas.  Feel free to comment.

As I’ve said before, if you want to embarrass yourself, that’s fine.   But when you embarrass me and you f*ck it up for everyone else, then, as the representative of men everywhere, I have to step in and check ya ass.

Check out this clip that was on the BeastDome blog:

(Note:  I’m not greedy. I got the idea from this from another blog and expanded on it.  For all you other bloggers, give credit where it’s due.  I’ve seen a few of my ideas on other blogs, but I’ll stay quiet.  Real recognize real.  Fake will sink to the bottom.)

I have a few issues with this:

Why is this b*tch in the house when you aren’t home?

If you didn’t learn the lesson from part one of my series, Something On The Side, you should already know that a side chick should not be in the house while you aren’t there.  She should not have a key.  I can’ t imagine Bush would be dumb enough to allow this chick in his house with a camera to document her giving a tour, so he probably wasn’t home and it doesn’t look like she broke in.

If you are not there, a side piece should not be.  No exceptions.  End of story.

Watch the kind of girls you make sidepieces

Reggie Bush obviously did not read my blog the Side Piece Rules Of Engagement .  Ortega looks just like Kim Kardashian.  If that’s what you want man, why not just stick with Kim?  Again, girls that have the same look and same tastes are likely to run in the same circles.

And while she was overlooking the porch did you hear her comment “This is living the life” and the look on her face.  This is a thirsty b*tch that is looking to move up into the number one spot so she can shine.  This side piece does not know her place.

Good side piece management dictates that you clearly define her role.  Ortega clearly does not know hers.  She at best will be number 2 (if there are 3, 4, 5, that should not be her concern or her business.  You should not look to be Lionel Richie and try to marry the side piece (I still remember the ass whuppin his wife gave him when she found out she was cheating. LOL).

If she is not comfortable with that, kick her to the curb. Quickly.  There is nothing but trouble ahead.

Side Piece Promotion: Upgrade Required

If you are stupid enough to promote a side piece to the number one spot, she should be an upgrade.  Kim Kardashian is not only fine as all hell, but the income comes in with her shows and other things she has.  Also, she’s a very freaky girl as Rick James would say (heard rumors of a Reggie Bush/Kardashian Superbowl sex tape???).

I’ve never really seen Ortega before this other than a few magazine covers.

(Note: A VERY BAD IDEA.  If you try to promote a side piece, you’ll have unnecessary trouble and drama throughout the entire relationship because she won’t trust you and she’ll remember how she got you.  She’ll always look over her shoulder for the next side piece and you will pay the price for her treachery.)

Kim Kardashian has more going for her.  This side piece affair has gone public and Bush would be taking a loss.   Bad move.

Reggie, you’re messing up a good thing because of bad side piece management. Feel free to email me at any time at manamongboys@live.com and I’ll arrange a session for you to refine your management skills.  Your moves to this point are definitely not TrueMan approved.

Feel free to comment.

If you’ve been watching the news lately, you know that the North Eastern states have been getting their collective asses kicked by Mother Nature. Last week, the region got over 24 inches of snow and right now, it’s getting another 24.  It’s been brutal with blankets of white coming with cold, harsh winds.

I spent part of the afternoon shoveling my car out in the blizzard; if you wait too long, the snow freezes, and you’re shoveling heavy blocks of white ice. I’d been out there for about a half hour when a little girl approached me with her own little shovel and starts digging right beside me.  She couldn’t be any older than six.  I turned to her and smiled as she swung her shovel back and forth.  She made more of a mess than anything, but she tried as hard as she could.

We’d been digging for about 10 minutes before her mother called to her to come inside. She yelled back, “Mom, I’m helping the man shovel snow.  I’ll be in in a minute.”  I turned to tell her that she should listen to her mother and go inside.

“Mister, you sure you’ll be ok with out me?  It’s a lot of snow.”

“Yes,” I chuckled,”I’ll be fine.  And thank you.”

She threw her shovel over her shoulder after a hard 10 minutes’ work and left.  But she did more work than I did all day.  Because it was genuine.  All she wanted to do was help.  She didn’t want anything for it. I offered her a few bucks as she left but she said she was just glad to help.

And as they say a good deed in infectious.  After I finished with my car, I walked over to another guy who was shoveling and helped him.  And then he in turn went to help someone else.

That little girl’s actions inspired me to help someone else.   It also made me think of why I started this blog: to tell my story and to help other people where I can.  If I can help someone be a better man, that’s a good thing.

Maybe there are some good people out there after all.  It’s sad that most of them are probably still in the first grade.

Feel free to comment.

Feel free to comment.

All I have in this world is my balls and my word and I don’t break them for no one. – Al Pacino as Tony Montana in “Scarface”

I was watching “Scarface” not too long ago, and started thinking about the main character, Tony Montana.  He’s has a lot of flaws, but if there is one redeeming quality to him, it’s that he keeps his word.

(A brief segway: “Scarface” is a cult classic, but it pains me to see Al Pacino reinforce just about every Cuban stereotype with his superthick accent and pimp strut.  And I wonder why they couldn’t find a hispanic actor for the job, but I digress..)

Tony Montana wasn’t a man to be admired, but he had his morals.  He was a thief, drug dealer, and a murderer…but he wasn’t a liar.

It seems like a man keeping his word is a rare find these days.  Whenever you turn of the nightly news, you’re almost certain to find something of a man who said he was going to do something but didn’t.  There have been cases in business (AIG, Enron), government (just about everything George W. said), and even sports (I’m almost certain Tiger Woods made a vow to be faithful to his wife).  Where did we go wrong?

Now I’m no moral compass.  I’ve gone off the path of the righteous more than once in my life, hell even twice, but I keep my word.  That’s important to me.  Your word is your bond, and you should do all you can to keep it.

There may be some unforeseen circumstances that make you break your word.  For example, if you suddenly lose your job, taking your 5-year-old on that summer vacation to Disney World you promised goes out the window.  But as soon as you can make it up to him, you should.  You gave him your word.

Tony Montana said that all he had was his balls and his word.  Well, that’s all you leave with too.  All of the awards and money you made don’t mean anything when they’re putting you six feet under.  People will remember you for what you did..and didn’t..do.

A man already has his balls.  Make sure that you keep your word.  That will make you more a man than your testicular fortitude.

Feel free to comment.

Block Standard is a collective of like-minded and like mission men who decided to pool their individual insights into one blog for the immediate dissemination of information that enables you to improve your money-making capabilities. You’re going to get a lot of different views from different people from a lot of different angles, each building on the other.

The goal is to empower you with knowledge.  What you do with it is completely up to you.

Block Standard…“Redefine Your Corner”

Now I don’t advocate violence against women, but when a woman is pregnant and carrying your child, that’s a whole new low.

For anyone who’s ever played a physical sport, especially one like football, you know that your aggression and physicality are what make you a success as much as your knowledge of the game.  It doesn’t do any good to know the X’s and O’s if you can’t execute.  I was taught that to be successful you must have the “3 iles”: You must be agile, you must be mobile, and above all…you must be hostile.

I was also taught that once the game is over, you turn it off.  That’s where the man in you has to take over.  You can’t take that same aggression home to the woman in your life, especially if she’s carrying your child.

If a woman just mouths off to you, that’s isn’t just cause to hook off on her off.  If she strikes you, (in most cases) that even that isn’t cause to reply in kind.  Restrain her if you have to so she’ll stop hitting you, but punching her in the mouth doesn’t make you any more a man.

(Note:  I say “in most cases”, because like all things, there are exceptions.  If I’m in the shower and you try to Al Green me by throwing pipin’ hot grits on me, you have just tried to mame and/or kill me.  You might have an unfortunate accident after that.  I might write a blog about it one day.  Let me know what you think.)

If the woman is PREGNANT, that’s something you just have to let go.  Walk out of the house.  Go to a friend’s house and talk.  Go to a sports bar and watch the game.  Do something, but hitting a pregnant woman is out of the question.

Steven Jackson, I’m hoping that what we’re reading is dead wrong, but if it is…you need to more than man up.  You need your punk ass whipped.

Feel free to comment.

And there’s a time to act a fool.  Yes I said it.

Some people don’t understand rational behavior and logic.  There are some people you just can’t talk to, and they’re usually at the extreme ends of the spectrum:

• Incredibly stupid – They can’t process what you’re saying and it gets frustrating to talk to them
• Incredibly educated – They think they know everything everything and don’t have to listen (basically, they’re classing you as the former)

In these cases, if walking away isn’t an option, you may have to set social protocol aside and show your ass to make a point.

In a previous post, I told you that my son was in the hospital.  They were able to temporarly help with his pain, but aren’t able to find the source. We’ve been told several things from several different specialists, doctors, and nurses.  Instructions from the daytime covering physician are different from the night time physician.   And in the middle is my son, still in pain.

The doctors came into the room to discuss what type of testing we should do. One doctor would put one plan in motion while another would do some thing entirely different on the next shift.  What one nurse told my ex-wife differed from what they told me.

We tried to talk to the nurses and doctors rationally, asking all the appropriate questions and wanting explainations. What we received was the usual generic phrases followed by an air of “we’re the professionals, keep your simple asses out of the let us handle it.”  And for a while, we did.  I mean, they’re the experts, right?  They are supposed to help us.

Doctors would come in the room in huddles to poke and prod while they guessed at what the cause could be.  It seemed that no one had a clue as to what they were doing.  Finally…I had enough…

“THIS SOME BULLSH*T!  YOU MUTHAF*CKAZ BETTER GET IT RIGHT!  IT’S GONNA BE SOME PROBLEMS IF SH*T DON’T GET STRAIGHT!”

For those who know me, usually I’m a soft-spoken fellow who will try to reason with you.  I really do.  I’m an educated man.  A learned man.  But they didn’t respect that. I tried to be polite and no one wanted to listen.

Now there’s a 2000 pound gorilla in the room wishing a muthaf*cka would come out their mouth sideways.

I followed that with other things that I’d rather not say in polite company but my tirade got things moving.  The chief hospital administrator got involved and started to put things in motion.   It was explained how f*cked up our experience was and that he needed to get his people in gear. After that, he got things moving.

So I had to get “ish” and act like I had no home training.  But sh*t is getting done.

Feel free to comment.

That’s very dangerous.  When you’re at your lowest is when you need to hear what people are saying the most.  There are millions of snake oil salesmen out there that lack substance, but because it sounds like relieving words at a time of need, we take it as gospel.

That’s when people fall for the “okie doke.”

For those of you who don’t know what that “okie doke” is, that’s when someone gets played for a fool.  Think of all those internet scams out there that promise $1000 a day for 15 minutes work…and all you have to do is make 3 payments of $39.95 for it.  That sounds like a godsend…but if it were that easy, there wouldn’t be a broke ass on the planet.   A lot of people fall for the “okie doke” on a regular basis.

The reason I bring this up is I was listening to an urban radio station today and heard a classic example of the “okie doke”.  A psychic was on and invited people to call in and discuss their problems.  A  young woman named Trina called in to ask the psychic if she should stay with her child’s father.  She said he comes around to spend time with her and the baby, but that they don’t see eye to eye.

A slick talker would be able to take a lot out of the italicized passage and use leading questions to guide someone in the direction they want the conversation to go in, luring them into the “okie doke”.  The psychic skillfully asked  series of questions that didn’t really say much, but had Trina thinking she was the second coming….

You probably feel overwhelmed with work and taking care of the baby, right?

Uh, no sh*t.  Basically, Trina’s a single mom, and there may be no tougher job in the world than that. Unless she’s on welfare, she’s working.  I know I talk a lot of sh*t about the ladies, but I acknowledge and appreciate the hard work a single mom puts in holding down a 40 hour a week job, and then coming home to cook dinner and help the kids with homework.  She must be tough in a tough situation.

The psychic made Trina feel appreciated, like someone out there understands what she’s going through.  Whether the psychic was single and had children or not is irrelevant; she made Trina feel like she could relate and played the sympathetic friend.

The first part of the “okie doke” is to make someone feel like they are safe and can trust you; a boa constrictor always hugs its prey before squeezing it to death.

(On a Side Note:  Some of you ladies brought this upon yourselves. A lot of times, you nagged a good man to death and drove him away.  The next time you want to blame someone, look in the mirror instead of calling your girlfriends and complaining that there are no good men out there.  He wanted to help with kids with homework and make family time, but you were steady b*tchin’ about the toilet seat being up.  The toilet seat is down now, but there’s no man in sight.  Dummy.)

There were probably money issues, right?

That’s not exactly a leap of faith since money is one of, if not the, top reason couples separate, whether it be one uses it to control the other, or just that the bills and necessities aren’t being taken care of.  And we the current economic state of the country, chances are money issues would apply to Trina too.

Even though he come by to see the baby and make family time, you’re still not happy, right?

All the psychic did here is repeat what Trina first told her but in the form of a question.  She didn’t really add anything, but the way she phrased the question makes it seem like she did, kind of like the “Great Repeater” at the office, who just repeats everything everyone else says with a few gestures and some big words thrown in.

xxxxxxxxx…RIGHT?

Notice how the psychic ended each question with the word right.  She’s TELLING Trina these are the reasons for her issues, even if they aren’t.  Right isn’t used to confirm, but to control.  For someone already having troubles, hearing that this is right is like finding the cause to your problems…even though they are something all together different.

After Trina hung up, I’m sure she felt like she had the source of all her problems…but she really didn’t get much help.

That’s the “okie doke” for you.  Feel free to comment.

In the first part of “At Least Leave Me My Dignity“, I talked about being dead set against any type of testing that involved anything going in my ass.  I would rather eat glass than have someone’s finger jamming in my rectum. Anyone who tried to rationalize it got cussed the f*ck out quickly.  But something happened recently that changed my thinking on that.

My son was recently in the hospital.  He’s been having abdominal pain so he went in for testing and was admitted.  The doctor wanted to make sure there wasn’t any tearing or inflammation.  They prodded, poked, and took multiple x-rays.

Then they had to do…the test.

The doctor put on his glove and asked my son to turn over on his stomach.  My son knew what was coming.  He winced a little and that was that.  The doctor took off his glove, told Gio he’s be hooked up the IV to get liquids for the night and left.

I ran over to hug my son like he was just shot in combat.  I held him and asked how he felt and he said he felt…violated.  I felt like it was my fault.  I told him that would be the last time and that he’d never have to do it again.  Then he said…

“But what if the doctor says I have to?  I want make sure I’m OK…a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do .”

At that moment, I felt like the room was full with people staring at me, shaking their hear head because my son had done and accepted what I was afraid of.

That was my shame.  At that moment, my son was more man than me.  And if I’m to be an example for my son, I have to man up on this one.

I have to make sure I’m around for him, so that means I have to make sure I’m healthy.  I’ve decided that I’ve been childish about this for long enough.

I’m going to schedule the test.

There’s a history of certain illnesses in my family, and the “test” will help rule out certain things…so I’m getting it…whether I like it or not.  I might even feel violated.  But if it means that I’ll have a better chance to live to raise my son into a man, and to see him raise his own children, then so be it.

Like my son taught me…a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.

Feel free to comment.