BlockStandard.com

Afternoon, Man Among Boys readers.  Instead of giving you a blog today, I want to tell you about a new collaboration called Block Standard (www.blockstandard.com).

Block Standard is a collective of like-minded and like mission men who decided to pool their individual insights into one blog for the immediate dissemination of information that enables you to improve your money-making capabilities. You’re going to get a lot of different views from different people from a lot of different angles, each building on the other.

The goal is to empower you with knowledge.  What you do with it is completely up to you.

Block Standard…“Redefine Your Corner”

If Not Me, Then Who?

I was at a dinner party this a few weeks with some former co-workers and old friends.  We had a few drinks, sat around and started talking sh*t about all the world’s problems, one of which being…men.  Not the typical-woman-man-hating-wanting-to-castrate men but more asking where have all the real men gone.  We started jumping from dating to education to fashion, and skinny jeans came up…

…so you know I jumped all on that.  And if you have to guess which side of the issue I stand on, you are not TrueMan Approved and should leave this blog now.

Our host disagreed with my views and said that it was just fashion and who was I to question what was “manly.”

I wanted to say, “Who am I??!  Who am I?!!  Dammit, I’m TrueMan, the standard to which other men are measured, and if anything I’ve said about skinny jeans offends anyone on the face of the planet, then take them out ya gotdamn closet and burn them!”

However, I kept it simple…”If not me…then who?”

There have to be bare minimums.  There have to be standards.  There have to be degrees of what a man does and what a man doesn’t do.  And there has to be someone to enforce them.  That’s where I come in…

There has to be someone to stand up for truth, justice, and the manly way.  And since no one has stood up to say things like men wearing silk scarfs, skinny jeans, and most important, anything associated with Kanye West are not manly, then dammit, I’ll step into the phone booth, change in TrueMan, and fly off to combat unmanliness wherever I see it.

A man will stand up for his belief, even if no one will stand up with him.  So dammit, I’m standing up against skinny jeans.

To my fellow men reading this blog, I ask you…who will stand with me?

Feel free to comment.

Welcome To 2010…Ready or Not

Evening, all.  By the time you read this, I’ll have made my annual trek to Atlanta to celebrate New Years Eve.  I love Atlanta.  I have some good friends there and the party scene is just what I need to end a very trying 2009.  I’m going to go out tonight and pop a few bottles with some friends, and maybe even make some new ones.  You know, cut loose a little bit and act a fool…within reason, of course.

This year was troubling, but I did get a few things accomplished.  I was able to move on and put the past behind me, as you’ve read in some of my posts.  I started this blog to reach out to people and tell what men are all about.  I was able to refocus and get back to doing ME.  I guess those are a few good things.

We all talk about making New Year’s resolutions as if they are going to be the gateway to some magical new lifestyle.  Some people believe in them, some people don’t.  I’m not going to debate with you about whether they work or not.  As Henry Ford said, “If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.”

I’ve decided it’s time to make a change.  Not the type of hopeful, Obama change, but the type of real, soul-searching change what will decide my future and what I’ll do moving forward (Note:  Get it in gear, Mr. President.  We need to see more of the change you promised in 2010.)

That brings me to my New Year’s resolution that I’m going to make, my change.  I’m going to live by a quote I was taught by a supervisor I used to work under, Mr. Wingate.  When I was in college, I worked at the state’s central branch of the Post Office loading bulk containers onto trucks.  Whenever you told him you couldn’t be done, you got the same answer from him…

“I can’t accept can’t.”

Somehow, I’d forgotten that I.  I’d changed from the cocky, young SOB who wasn’t afraid to try anything to a guy who was more timid.  F*** that.  I can’t be that guy anymore.  I’m not that guy anymore.  So that’s my resolution for 2010, to live by ”I can’t accept can’t.”

(That and “That’s not puttin’ chips in my pocket, pat-naaaa!”  Shout out to Freeman.  If you haven’t checked out his site, take a look at Rise And Grind ( www.riseandgrind.com).  It’s a good read.)

I’d be interested to hear about your resolutions.  What changes are you making for the New Year?  And why aren’t you starting them now?

So go out tonight, party, dance, sip some champagne or grape juice for my 21 and under friends, and have a great time.  But get home safe.

Have a Happy New Year.  Feel free to comment.

Act Your Age

I have to face facts…I’m getting older.  But that’s all a part of growing up.  A part of becoming a man among boys.

That’s why it always irks me to hear people say they’re “young at heart” and “you’re only as old as you feel.”  It’s every easy to take those statements out of context.

People often use those as excuses not to grow up.

On his  “Kingdom Come” album” (not his best work, but ok), Jay-Z even made song called “30 Something” where he talks about 30 being the new 20.

Sorry, bro…30 is 30.

When people say things like “young at heart”, they fool themselves into thinking they have more time than they do.  They think that they have time plan for retirement, time to solidify their career, time to start a family.  That’s very dangerous.

Life is just a series of decisions you make that are strung together.  Once you go down a path it, helps to determine your future choices.  Time is something you can’t get back once you lose it. There is an old quote that goes “each day brings 86,400 seconds, whatever isn’t used is gone forever”.  You can’t get that back, no matter how many miles you run, how many vitamins you take, or how much plastic surgery you get.  You can’t turn back the clock, no matter how much you try to fool yourself into thinking you can.

Instead of looking back and trying to recapture youth, why don’t we look forward and try to build a future?  You’ll be older much longer than you’ll be younger, so isn’t that what you should prepare for?

I think a lot of what drives us to want to go back is fear and responsibility.  15 years ago, my only responsibilities were to make sure I got to class on time and that I wore protection so I didn’t have any kids.  Now, I have a son of my own, bills to pay, strategic responsibilities at the office, and taxes to pay to Uncle Sam’s bum ass (get yo hands out my pockets!).  There’s a lot more at stake now.

There’s also a lot more opportunity. Sure things can and will go wrong, but what if things go right.  With the experience and resources, you can accomplish a lot.  Fear is just an opportunity to prove yourself.

Stop always looking to go back.  As Billy Joel sang, “the good ol’ days weren’t always good, and tomorrow ain’t as bad as it seems.”

Will you start acting your age?  Feel free to comment.

“This Is It” – Lessons From “The Gloved One”

Recently, I took my son to see “This Is It”, the film compilation of rehearsal, behind-the-scenes footage for Michael Jackson’s “This Is It” concert series that was to be held for 100 shows in London.  We got our tickets, popcorn, and soda, and expected to see an entertaining film about Michael Jackson, complete with the timeless moonwalk, a “scha-mon” here and there, and endless soundbites of “he-he”.  Instead I learned a lot more.

Michael Jackson was a hustler.  And a damn good one too.

He had you all fooled into thinking he was all about zipper pants, glittery gloves and wearing white socks with everything.   People talk about MJ because of child molestation accusations, Bubbles, carrying around a grown man like a 3-year-old (what ever happened to Emanuel Lewis?), or his battles with Vitiligo (hey, give him a break).  But Michael Jackson was about his business; his business just happened to be music.  In watching the film, I learned that Michael Jackson knew what a lot of us so-called business types still have failed to learn:

Love over Money

Through out the film, Michael kept talking about the love of what he was doing and the passion that follows it.  That’s key, and a lot of us miss it.  We’re so quick chasing a dollar that when we get it, it’s hard to hold onto because of how we got there.  Listen to most successful people.  Not your “guys” like Floyd Mayweather and those Cash Money Morons who throw money in the air every chance they get.  Not guys that will probably be broke in 10 years.  I’m talking about your Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey, Russell Simmonds.  They rarely talk about money first.  It’s almost as if the money is a product of something when you love what you do.  More attention is on staying true to the craft and what you do.

Focus on Service/Quality Of The Product

It’s been said there are three components of business: Price, Product, and Service/Quality.  If you have to focus on of them, I’d focus on Service/Quality.  It’s the only aspect of any business that is unique to the provider and can’t really be duplicated.

Too often, we focus on the Price and the Product itself; that’ really a mistake.  Focusing on price will cause you to lose business as soon as your competitor’s price is lower than yours.  Walmart has been doing that for decades.

Products become outdated, so focusing on the product itself is also a losing proposition.  I’m guessing that you haven’t used your VCR in years, and you might not even know what an eight-track player is.  Someone will always come around and build a better “mouse trap.”

Michael Jackson focused on the quality of his music.  There is a lot of music today that sounds better because of sound engineers, digital recording, and the autotune, but is the quality there? Will it be around 20 years from now? The hooks today are better, but I can almost guarantee you Chris Brown and Lil’ Wayne will be forgotten about in 20 years.  Michael’s music has lasted generations, from the Jackson 5 to his last album “Invincible”, and was indelible to everyone that heard it.  People say that his last album flopped; yeah, it flopped to about 13 million sales worldwide.  Most artists would dream to “flop” an album like that.  His best-selling album was Thriller, which did well over 100 million in sales world-wide.

But the biggest reason I know Michael Jackson put out a quality product was because of my son.  My son was singing along with a lot of his songs word for word.  It wasn’t just my kid, either.  There were dozens of parents in there with children from about age 5 up that were singing along.  You don’t last that long in any game unless you pour quality into your product.

Attention To Detail

One particular scene I remember was when  Michael and his producer were going over the music for “The Way You Make Me Feel.”  They were going over the intro and Michael kept harping on how he needed to make the intro “simmer” before going into the main part of the song.  The sticking point was one note.  ONE note.  One.  Not a whole bar, just one note that was dropping too early.  They must have gone over that 5 – 6 times before it got Michael’s approval, and he wasn’t moving off of what he wanted.

If Michael didn’t hear or see what he wanted, he stopped rehearsal and they did it again until they got it right.  Everything else seemed to flow, but if there was one aspect that didn’t quite work, the whole piece didn’t work.

Michael Jackson knew that people will demand success and remember your failures.  If you’re going to do something, do it right until it’s where you want it to be.

Be Hands On

Every great hustler/entrepreneur makes sure they are a part of the process in each aspect.  I remember years ago when Toni Braxton was on Oprah and she was saying how it was hard to manage millions of dollars so she had accountants and managers handling most of the money.  Oprah quickly pointed out that she still signed every check for Harpo Productions to makes sure she knew where the money was going.

I believe Oprah is currently sitting on about $1.5 billion right now.  Toni Braxton…not so much.

This doesn’t mean be micro-managing. Hire the right people and trust them to make good decision, but only a fool would leave their entire operation in someone else’s hands.  You need to know what’s going on.  Michael Jackson was hands on, even on what seemed to be menial tasks.  He  was even present at the dancer auditions, pointing out flaws and picking out the ones he wanted.  This could have been left to the dance choreographers, but if the dancers were going to be an “extension of Michael” as it was put, he wanted to make sure he was a part of the process.

“This Is It” taught me a lot about Michael Jackson’s drive to be successful, but it also gave me tools I could take away and apply in my own life and push to be successful.

It almost made me want to give him a pass for wearing skinny jeans and those damn Captain Crunch looking jackets throughout the entire film.

…almost.

Rest in Peace, MJ.

Side Piece Rules of Engagement

I was reading Single Black Male today (singleblackmale.net; a good read) and it made me think of an argument I saw not too long ago.  There were two young women and one man that looked like he’d much rather be somewhere else.  From what I could gather, one woman was the girlfriend, the other the side piece, and they were fighting over who got the right to call him their man.

I couldn’t help but think that he broke one or more of the side piece rules somewhere.   Did he make her feel too special?  Did he pour out his heart to her? I don’t know.  But he did something wrong.

But that made me think more.  If you apply the Six Sigma philosophy of the “5 Whys” (ask why 5 times and you usually get to the root cause), you get to the foundation of the matter.  If so many guys are following the side piece rules, why do so many guys get caught?

I know I addressed how to manage a side piece in one of my earlier posts (“Something On The Side”), but maybe I gave you guys too much credit.  I assumed you knew how to get a side piece the right way in the first place.

(Note: again, I do not advocate having a side piece.  If you have a monogamous relationship, stay true to it.  But if you’re going to cheat, dammit, do it right.)

If you don’t get a side piece the right way, you are setting yourself up for failure.  Just like the House of Quality (for some reason, I’m on my Six Sigma today) if you don’t have a solid foundation, the house will collapse.

So I’m going to give you 3 rules that help form the “Side Piece Rules of Engagement.”  They will guide you into getting a side piece the right way.  After that, proper management of the side piece should be a snap. As the late Biggie Smalls said,

I been in this game for year, it made me a animal

It’s rules to this sh*t, I wrote me a manual

A step-by-step booklet for you to get

Your game on track, not your wig pushed back

1 . The Rule of Opposites

Fellas, if you are going to have a side piece, you have to be willing to explore the spectrum of women out there.  Yes, you may have to go outside of your normal comfort zone or race to find a safe side piece.  You are not looking for a soul mate (that’s some bullsh*t anyway) or someone to call your lady; you already have your main girl for that.

Your side piece must be the opposite of your main girl.  If your lady is a diva that needs to get her hair and nails done every week, get a cute ass tomboy that likes sports. If your lady is an ebony soul sista, you should be looking for Pamela Anderson.

(Another note: Pamela Anderson is a fine white woman.  I’d tag that and write an article about it in Essence for all of you to read).

The reason is they are less likely to have the same interests or the same circle of friends.  Just like in math, you want to decrease the probability that Circle A will intersect with Circle B.  You might have to listen to some groups like Nickleback (actually, they’re not that bad) and go to the movies to see some stupid sh*t like Saw VI, but you probably won’t run into your girlfriend while you’re out either.

2.  “Something To Lose” Rule

Whenever possible, get a side piece that has something to lose to.  That means she is in a long-term relationship of her own or is married.  She will be less likely to catch feelings or grab your cell phone and call wifey.  Plus, she already has a man, so she is looking for something on the side herself that doesn’t have commitments.  That’s a win-win.

3.  30 Minute Rule

This rule is very important, probably the most important of any of the side piece rules. If you meet a side piece, no matter how fine she is, no matter how big her ass is, she must live at least 30 minutes away from home base. Minimum.  No one said having a side piece was going to be convenient, but again, the goal is not to get caught.  You don’t want to be out with wifey and bump into the side piece at the supermarket.

In my post “The Mission”, Greenbacker commented that he flew about 2 hours to meet an old side piece.  That’s planning for your ass right there!

You will have to take the side piece out for drinks, to a movie, etc., so you need to be smart about it.  Unless you live in rural America, there is plenty to do by your house, so you and your main lady probably stay local unless you’re planning something special.  In most cases, you probably don’t go more than 30 minutes from home base, especially if you live in or near a big city.  So local isn’t an option for having a side piece.

Another advantage is that the side piece isn’t likely drive 30 minutes from her house to make a surprise trip.  She’s likely to call first to make sure you’ll be there, so you can have your alibi ready.

Again, I don’t condone cheating, but if you have ever had an experience like ol’ boy in the argument, you’re f*ckin’ it up for everybody.  Keep these rules in your wallet and refer to them often if you’re going to have a side piece.

Feel free to comment.